Dominic Fernandes

For all those who read this blog this one is dedicated to Dominic. And I really hope he gets well soon because he's just 17 or 18. He's intelligent and sensitive and very young. He's been fighting this disease since he was a baby. I can't describe in words how much strength this boy has, to endure this for so long. This is when Sharon needs me and I can't be with her. This strange lump in my throat and am trying very hard not to let it show.
The first time Shanu and I spoke about Dom, was sitting at Jains at 11:30 in the night and she was telling me how he went for his first school interview and did it so well. The girl he liked in school. How she looked forward to him starting college. It was really different from my relationship with my brother because its almost as if my brother was born first. Very sensible and all that. So if something were to happen to DJ I wouldn't be able to keep up for too long.

But Sharon and Dominic are just perfect siblings. They are just as mad as I was. Their childhood was like ours. The parents are so similar its unbelivable. Its as if I could walk into their house and strike a conversation with her mum.
So free yet so controlled. Same values. Same questions we asked ourselves (or to others). Good upbringing (the way I see it) and all that jazz.
Just that Dominic has been to the hospital too many times. And I know that he just does not deserve it. He's a good child.

So am just hoping and praying that he comes out of that hospital and doesn't have to go back ever again.

Yellow!

Ok purple child finally makes an appearance after a really long time. Really long I say! The last blog was written on Never Mind! Its not as if I haven’t had anything to say but its always been like this. When I had some thing to write I couldn’t find the time and when I did I couldn’t put my thoughts together. And am not really having a blast as far my work is concerned. Feels like I have reached a point here where I need to find the next clue to someplace/thing better and quickly jump.Its like those fancy videogames where that commando type someone is standing in a place and you are frantically moving your mouse in order to get him to a point or open some darned door or fire at some damn virtual enemy. The right click. That’s what I need. The thing about cranky times is the silver lining in the bad time itself. You hope for a better time and it does come ….. Its just taking forever for me.


Winter has finally set in. I love everything about it. The festive spirit. One festival after the other. Well lit roads. Nicely done pandals. Fetes I never go to but once in a while when I walk past huge parks and hear squealing kinds on a giant wheel, its very heart warming. And I dread hunger…. For some strange reason the cold outside makes me incredibly hungry. And I stuff myself like there’s no tomorrow and get depressed when size 28 doesn’t fit! Duh yes! Eat like a giant and then expect an hourglass figure like Nicole Kidman.
Looking forward to nice long walks in Khan Market and Lutyens Delhi. Swatcat will be here in November. Best friends in town already. See! things are looking up already and then there’s that wonderful part of my life that am completely head over heels about.
And that I must say it keeps my spirits soaring even through lousy times at work. Whoever said love shouldn’t bloom at workplace hasn’t seen me in the past few weeks. Touchwood!
Apart from a host of changes taking place within me there is this one thing that am truly experiencing. Things that you can never imagine in your wildest dreams, you end up doing. And you do them better than just average. It’s just about giving your self that opportunity.
I went out on a shoot to a cabinet minister’s office. I must tell you that all these ‘sarkari’ buildings that look like they will fall apart any minute are palatial from inside. And this is the first time I went for an informal “press meets the minister” meeting. It was nothing like I imagined it to be. It was a gathering of a couple of scribes and TV guys who sat huddled in a huge plush sofa with the minister saab right in the middle. And you could sense the tension in everyone around me. There was meekness in the air. There is a difference between choosing the right words while asking a question and being petrified about asking it. It’s this raja-subject business that I detest. All the ‘sir ji’” “please ji” am your-doormat-so-wipe-your-feet-clean and trample all over me ji’ business just puts me off. Everywhere, even at work. Anyway, the minister’s conference room was neat. Wooden flooring. Pretty vases with prettier orchids. Big flat television set. His office was even more beautiful. The sofas were very expensive (not very classy) and comfortable. I just felt like dropping the tripod and sleeping on it. Wooden flooring. A huge mahogany table with a laptop. Very few papers. Very little work I guess. Wooden paneling etc. Nice and plump secretary. Very earnest looking.
After I was done admiring the place, taking a few tips as well I had an incredibly strong urge to fly out of the window. Everything about him and his office made me sick. How can you be so dishonest to your profession and lie through your teeth? I stepped out hoping to see blue sky. But it was dark. I got onto the car. Rolled down the window. And breathed. Fresh Delhi air. Laden with the smell of winter. It felt nice and free.
I think I have grown far beyond admiring pretty houses and big cars. And although I’d love to have all this and more it would mean much more to me if I have all the small pleasures. All of them and monkey.
It’s a fairly simple choice.