Pessimist Vs Optimist

I think... or wait I don't think anymore. I had these strange notions of television when I was studying. Faster, more communicative, easiar on the language and so on. But that really doesn't seem to be the case. In all honesty the only thing that I do sincerely everyday is read the papers. But does that translate into any value addition ? No.... I picked up technology real fast when I came here. Does it help me? No.... My scripts are straight and boring .. thats what am told but I try reading some of the other scripts... you will wonder when one sentence got over and the other began. Basic journalism please. Write simple sentences that make sense.

So do I take pride in my work? No so much anymore.

I think I got an education sitting with saikat baba and Ch Nandal every evening sharing smokes thoughts etc. Of course I never had much to add but lots to learn. We joked, we laughed, ridiculed people. But there was an education there. I know this seems like someone who has given up on life. But am not that someone. But am afraid I will become one.

There are some of us in this world who make better followers than leaders. I don't know if anyone here is a leader.

And its affecting everything. Obviously because I don't go home and become a new person. I carry this burden of having been a part of something shoddy.

I really have to get up, stretch and yawn and shrug this terrible feeling off me. Before everyone here kills me with their attitude.

I mean EVERYONE .....

The point is that I have always been alone in fighting this feeling. I will be in some ways a loner all my life weather I like it or not.

Thats enough ! The eternal optimist has to take over.