Birthdays and ramblings

Can't remember the last time i was happy on my b'day. cause it's depressing to grow up.but birthday parties were so much fun when we were kids(my bro and i) we used to have such a gr8 time planning every game that we would play and the gifts and the return gifts, the streamers or buntings whatever u call them, the smell of the cake . opening the fridge to see if it really was there, 5 pm friends start coming , dressed up in their birthday best, frills and and pink and the boys in their shorts and they'd sit in groups and that was so silly because just until half an hour ago boys and girls would be just people playing together rolling in the park hide and seek, cheating while counting and then in their birthday best they'd be all quiet and hesitant to speak to each other.same for the girls. and then cake cutting, ice breaking and the madness would resume. little 5 year old minds become all of 5 yrs again. frills and shorts altogether like before. i miss that. i hate growing up where every word u say is scrutinised, read between lines, interpreted....i know cause i do that! chips samosas and sandwiches and jelly. and rasna . i loved watching my mother make rasna. was very fascinated with the colour.how she celebrated my birth. just to make me feel happy to be born. when i hadnt done anything great. just for being her child.for being a part of her.birthdays were fun.growing up was even better.only sometimes i feel i could go on a vacation to childhood.ha wishful thinking.